Would you tell your younger self the things you tell yourself now?

Dear young me, 

Hi, welcome to the world.You need no know a few things about yourself.

                                                                  Always loving the cake!

You are a worthless piece of crap. Nobody wants to be your friend. You are annoying. You are boring. You are really selfish and you only think about yourself. You are a giant disappointment. Your parents will never be proud of you. You are not good at anything. You are a terrible friend 

You are ugly.  You never have any original ideas. You have no talents.You are a lazy piece of shit. You are going to die alone. You always do the wrong thing. You ruin everything.You do not belong any where. You have no life. You are the reason why there are bad things happening in the world. You fail at life. You are a burden to society.

And finally, you are a giant waste of space

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Harsh aren't  I?

But the truth is I AM HARSH ON MYSELF
.... TO HARSH.... 

These statements are hard to write, especially directed to young me. The young, innocent girl who wants to eat cake 24/7 (SOME things do not change), and thinks that her mum and Dad's name are Mum and Dad.


Who has her whole life in front of her.

Does this young girl deserve to hear these things?
Does she need to know that at a young age she is stupid, useless, ugly, , etc, etc??
Does her first lesson in life need to be that she is unwanted, a freak, useless, "broken",  a burden?'

DOES SHE? 

But these are the things I tell myself on a daily basis. I wake up and straight away the negative thinking starts:


Everybody hates me
I am a terrible person
I am hideous 

I a horrible friend
I am annoying.
I always do the wrong thing 

I do not belong anywhere. 
I am a waste of space 
I do not deserve to be here. 

All because I think I have done something wrong: something terrible.
Something worth punishing myself over by telling myself these cruel words.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
It's called Negative self talk:  my inner critic.

And, If you are a lot like me, these types of thoughts happen a lot.
And it STRESSES ME OUT.

It is why I am such a terrible perfectionist, it is why I critics myself so badly, why I give up on things so easily, that is why I am so anxious when I hand in assignments, why it takes ages for me to publish my blog post because I am anxious about my spelling (I ama terrible speller in case you have not noticed).

The truth is, everybody has one: everybody has an inner critic.

Mine is just a giant, sucky BUBBLE that sticks heavily to me and will never go away

The  inner critic can serve multiple purposes that on the surface might seem good: like,it can make you feel like you are trying to do right in some way by wanting to be better or to achieve more.
BUT using self-criticism for these reasons, instead of positive self-talk, is the same as choosing a punishment over a reward.(you get what I am trying to say??)....It's not the greatest method.

Imagine back to when you were  trying to walk. Imagine  every time you fell down you had your parent/s/ guardians scream that you are 'hopeless' and 'stupid' and 'not good for anything'.
It has a negative effect.
Compared to if your parent/s/ guardian smiled and encouraged you with each step.
Which has a positive effect 
When your inner critic IS constantly yelling at you It shapes your self-concept and what you are capable of achieving.
In other words you just feel "Mehhhhhhh"  ("mehh" is officially a physiology term :P )
It  robs you of peace of mind and emotional well-being and, if left unchecked long enough, it can even lead to serious mental health problems like depression or anxiety,which for me;it has

I believe that the labels we give out selves are labels: that have been "brainwashed" into our heads come from either my internal  or external  modes. (and I could be wrong. I'm not a physiologist. This is what I believe)
Sometimes -MAJORITY of the times- these labels are not true:

We are not worthless
We are not useless
We are not terrible
We are not ugly, fat, or hideous
We are not terrible human beings
We are not a waste of space
We are not "broken".

(etc, etc, etc)

Our minds are just sick; riddled with lies
And, these is many ways to stop this type of thinking. Like recognising the thought and replacing it, and many other cognitive thinking strategies.

But this it the technique I use.

I simply ask myself

Would I tell my younger self the things I am telling myself now? 

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Think about it.

Every time I say a negative thing to myself, I imagine saying it to younger me. '
I image staring myself RIGHT in the eye and saying what I really feel.

And I can't.

I can't do it.

I simply can not do it. I CAN'T tell young me that negative thoughts that I experience

Why

because young me doesn't deserve to hear those things.

She's  sweet and innocent and always has the largest smile, and wants to grow up to be Rapunzel/a cat/vet/nurse/actress/McDonald's worker (yes,that's true)/ food tester.
She wants to sit outside in the rain and pretend the worms are her friends ( YES. I WAS A UNIQUE CHILD) The young girl who is still learning the basic skills of life, like how to walk and read. Who can't yet sing the alphabet or distinguish between different colours.Who thinks if she eats an apple seed an apple tree will grow inside of her. Who thinks chocolate milk comes from "chocolate cows".

The young girl who is completely innocent. 

If young me doesn't deserve to hear those things, why does 18 year old me does?

Life is to hard to be mean to yourself. 

You are loved. You are useful.  You are worthy 







(Isn't baby me JUST ADORABLE!!!!!!)