How to Grow a Chip Tree

Sick of buying chips?

This recipe will show you how to grow a CHIP TREE, so you don't have to do worry about buying chips for your perfect social gathering. 

What you need: 

A takeaway brought chip 

The chip MUST be brought from a store. Possible stores can include (but are not limited) the Cube at LC, The Cube at Newestead (brought only during line 4) Dinos, The MilkBar, McDonald's, etc. This recipe will not work with a store brought "have to cook in the oven/microwave" chips.

Setting:

A sandy beach. 

Warning: This recipe only works on a summer/spring day.

PERFECT FOR VEGANS, VEGETARIANS AND FUSSY EATERS.  

Step one:

Find an area on the beach in which you will plant your chip tree. 

The perfect setting should be flat and a far distance from any wildlife and the ocean water.

Note: The sand provides the the chip with the natural necessitates it needs to grow and flourish.This recipe will not work on dirt or any other ground substances as it does not have the chemicals that sand has that provides the chip to successfully grow. 

Step two:

Dig a hole in which you will carefully place your chip.

Do not make the hole to small as the chip will not have enough room to sprout. And do not make the whole too large as there will be not enough room for the chip seedling to sprout 

The hole should be approximately HALF the size of the "chip seedling".

Step Three

CAREFULLY place your chosen chip seedling into the hole that you have dug in step two. 

  The chip MUST be standing straight up.

Step Four: 

Bury the chip HALF WAY 

Note: The chip should already be half way in the ground as you have dug the hole in which the chip seedling at half way, at this stage you you are not just "filling up the whole"

This step provides the chip to be introduced to it's environment before it decides to do the magic of sprouting. 

NOTE:Wait half an hour before performing step five 

Step five: 

After half an hour, COMPLETELY BURY the chip.

The chip will do its "magic" underneath the sand to produce branches of chips. 

CAUTION. Be careful  of  the ''Evil Daniel Fingers TM" as they may try and harm your precious tree. If this happens, throw a rock on their foot. This action will scare them off. 

Step six:

Come back in a week or two and see your beautiful chip tree grow. The chip branches will eventually grow more chip branches and will eventually look like the illustration shown below.

To prepare the chips for feeding, just pick the desired chips from your tree,put them on a plate/ a small cardboard box/ or chip paper, and they are ready to eat. 

If desired; Add salt/pepper/ Schezuan Sauce, etc.  

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~_~_~_~_~_~

Now you know how to grow a chip tree you do not need to waste money of buying your own of chips. YOU can just pick the amount of chips you need from your very own chips tree. This method also saves of food wastage and makes chips a type of "healthy" food as it comes from the ground. 

:)

Let me know if you use this recipe 

(Told you I would write it, Daniel!!!) 

~~and because I always end my blog with Emm Roy Comics;  ~~