This Is A Big Deal

To the person who told me that it's "not a big deal, stop talking about it" 

You turned around, you rolled your eyes and you said " It's not a big deal. You need to stop talking about it now "
I will admit that for the last few days  the only thing that has  came out of my month is the fact that I have something in a museum, but that doesn't give you the right to tell me to stop talking about it, or that it isn't a big deal. Because this is a big deal that I'm not going to stop talking about.
The amount of happiness I feel is sky high. It's not everyday that you get interviewed by interviews writing articles about you, it's not everyday you get an opportunity to stand in front a large crowd and be a shinning star, and it's not everyday that you can see something you've worked incredible hard on projected into a wall in a museum.
And you turn around and you tell me that it's not a big deal.
This is a big deal.  
 I have accomplished something that not many people from  our "shitty and bogan" town has ever accomplished. I have something in a museum; something I helped write, film,produce,  and star in. How often does a person has an opportunity to do that?


To walk into that museum and hear my short film playing was incredible. The audio echoed  throughout the small room and could be heard over the soft mumbling of people observing pieces of art.  The large screen brightened up the whole room and on that large screen was my team members showing off  their excellent acting skills.
To watch our short film  for the first time in the small cinema TMAG created for the audience was magical. TMAG set up small sofas for the audience too sit on  and this is where members of my team and I sat as we watched out short film for the first time.
We observed our short film with large smiles because we were so happy too see something we worked so hard on on that brick, museum wall. To see our short film projected onto that wall meant that all our hard work was worth it. Every day we worked during the summer holidays with days starting at 10AM and ending at 8PM was worth it. We created something great and we were seeing evidence of that.
And to hear people laughing at the jokes we took days to come up with was the best. People generally enjoyed our short film and that brought  so much joy and happiness to our hearts. To know that somebody enjoyed something I created, something I worked incredibly hard on is the best feeling of all.
Is that not a big deal? 

I think it's a big deal, I made something that people loved.
Seeing my short film projected onto that wall made me relies that if I put a  lot of hard work into something it will be worth it in the end.
I worked with an incredible team who shredded a lot of sweat to produce this short film, who spent hours stressing about whether it was good enough or not, but it was all worth it when we heard  the enjoyment of others.


The script we created was laying on a pedestal, it had a dim light coming up from the center so that audience members could read our words. People read the words we spend days coming up with up. The words that came out of our own heads and our own imaginations, and the words we used to create a story.
I have a script that has my name and four other people on it as 'author' .
Is that not a big deal?  

I think it's a huge deal, I am an author,  I have a piece  of work  in a museum bearing my name.
That's a dream come true.


I spoke in front a large audience.
The last time I spoke in front of a large audience I was competing  against private school students and I overwhelmed with how good they were.My prepared speech made people fall asleep as I stuttered and lost my place, and  my improv speech didn't last the required time. I held in the tears of failure until the student from my school finished his speeches , than rushed  to the foyer to cry  pathetically  on my mum's shoulder. I believed that I disappointed  all the teachers who came to watch me, and I felt so bad. (but my feelings were just irrational)
AND the time before that I was going for student leader and was tormented and verbally tortured for a whole year because of what I said.
but this time, I proudly stood up on that stage, I looked out to the audience of school children, artists, reporters, and many other people. I looked people right in the eye and I made them laugh. I told the audience how thankful I was for the opportunity, I told the audience about ephemeral art, I told the audience about how I had to travel three and a half hours and miss half the day of college to be here but it was totally worth it. I made the audience laugh instead of falling asleep and that's a giant accomplishment.
I didn't get off that stage to believe I failed, I didn't get off that stage to pathetically cry on somebodies shoulder, and I wasn't verbally tortured for  a whole year because of what I said.
Is that not a big deal? 

I think it's a huge deal, I have moved on from the past. I want more opportunities to speak in front of an audience. I'm that wierdo who loves public speaking!!!


As soon as I finished my speech I was immediately met with a radio interviewer with a fascinating mic. "Can I have a minute of your time" she said.
And I said "Sure" with a mouth of chocolate mud cake (THEY HAD CHOCOLATE MUD CAKE HERE AND I ATE ALL OF IT)
And she interviewed me and the members of my team. She asked us all these questions about my art experience, about my high school art teacher, about the theme of death, about my experience working with such an incredible team, about working during the summer holidays, about travelling three and a half hours to see my short film projected on a wall in a museum, about how happy I was, and about our incredible short film.
As soon as I heard our interview on the radio I was overcome with so much joy and pure happiness. My voice was being launched from a podcast on the ABC radio,
Is that not a big deal?

I think it is, my voice was on the radio!
It's the experience that counts.
 I listened to my voice on the highway, it was incredible!!. I was so happy!


The ABC wrote an article about me. The interviewer used my name, quotes from my speech, and direct quotations from our conversation. If you go to the ABC website we are on the homepage!
The last articles written about Georgetown was about child abuse, bush fires, and teenage abductions.
Now there is an article about four teenagers who are making a difference through art.
Is that not a big deal? 

I think it is, it proves that Georgetown isn't as "bogan and shitty" as you think it is.
We are not restricted  because of where we come from.

I  feel an abundance amount of happiness and confidence and I am not going to step down from this amount of happiness and confidence because you tell me;"It's not a big deal, You need to stop talking about it now"
I am not going to stop talking about it. This is a big deal.
Why can't you see that?
Why can't you get it through you pea-minded brain that I have accomplished something great?

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I've had more negativity directed toward me than positivisty.  What am I doing wrong?
Am I too proud?
Can a person even be to proud of something?
It makes me mad that so many people don't care and some of the ones that do are just flat out negative. Where is all the positivity? or am I being selfish to expect people to not be negative about something I accomplished?

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Positive;
-I have something in a Museum; something that people enjoy and I worked incredibly hard on.
-I was on the radio.
-I spoke in front of a large audience and made the audience laugh.
-There is an article written about me that uses my name.. my name! 

Negative;
-People don't share my enthusiasm.
-People are telling me it's not  a big deal
-People are telling me to stop talking about it.

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