I have three classes in the same room, I love the shocked face people make when I tell them I do two Englishes, I get genuinely surprised when I receive B's and A's on my assignments. I love the books I am studying, I love coming into class and learning new stuff, I love my new teachers, and I love walking around feeling like I could conquer the world.
I'm so happy .
and I've even made some friends, which is something I never thought I'd never do.
When people told me I was going to make new friends I never believed them.
But, what I didn't comprehend is that friendship is inevitable when you go into a brand new school.
I made friends automatically. I didn't even need to change a thing about myself.
And I am so thankful for my new friendships.
I am finally surrounded with people like me. I have finally found "my people" and I feel so beatific.
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
Letter To A New Friend.
I meet you in my English literature class.
When the teacher asked if anybody has ever read The Hobbit, my hand shot straight up and I peered around the small classroom. Two tables down from me was you. Sitting on the edge of your chair next to somebody you were forced to sit with. Your hand was waving frantically in the air, whilst mine was half way up.
You came up to me after class and excitedly asked me if I liked it and I nodded my head. I should have told you the truth but I didn't want to disappoint you, and it was my first week of college... I was desperate for a friend. When the teacher asked if anybody has ever read The Hobbit, my hand shot straight up and I peered around the small classroom. Two tables down from me was you. Sitting on the edge of your chair next to somebody you were forced to sit with. Your hand was waving frantically in the air, whilst mine was half way up.
Truth is; I hated it. I was forced to read it at the start of grade eight when my English class was learning about the genre of fantasy. It is the only school-text I hated with a strong passion (And, unlike many students in my grade, I really liked Of Mice and Men and To Kill A Mockingbird ) I remember feeling really smart because it was the first time I was placed in the highest reading group and with people I considered the "smartest" in my grade. Every time I was forced to read a chapter I desperately wanted to make the paperback cover fly across the room and land with a loud thud into the classroom bin. I hated it, the dragon was annoying, the boy with the ring was disastrous, and the long verses of singing elves were horrendous. When the time came; I reluctantly handed in an essay slightly filled with plagiarism (first and ONLY time, I swear!) and signed a giant sign of relief when the teacher marked my assignment with a B.
All you said was 'it's one of my favourite books' and my heart screamed 'I've found somebody who reads!' So, I stayed quiet, letting you believe that we had the same interests in books.
The next time we had class, you eyes lit up and you enthusiastically patted the seat next to you. Our teacher started talking about our independent study texts, but we already knew what books we were going to study; I was doing Cat's Eye and you were doing Frankenstein. (I choose Cat's Eye because it's written by Margret Atwood and focuses on the topic of bullying ) When the teacher's back was turned and as she continued to speak to a classroom of blank students staring out wide windows, we softly edged closer to each other and in a faint voices we developed our new friendship even further.
You told me that when you get bored in class you doodle at the back of your notebooks, and I told you when I get bored during class I escape into different words by using my pen and paper at the back of my notebook "You should see my science notebook from last year" I joked with a clever smile.
You told me that when you get bored in class you doodle at the back of your notebooks, and I told you when I get bored during class I escape into different words by using my pen and paper at the back of my notebook "You should see my science notebook from last year" I joked with a clever smile.
You told me you hated doing science in high school, and I told you I hated science so much that I begged a teacher every week to get me out.
"you begged every week and you only got out once!" was your reply.
and than I laughed,
and than you laughed.
And then we got a death stare from our teacher.
"you begged every week and you only got out once!" was your reply.
and than I laughed,
and than you laughed.
And then we got a death stare from our teacher.
You were once telling to me about how annoyed you were feeling because your class members kept sending you messages on Facebook during class, making your phone make loud, high-pitched noises ,and resulting in lectures from discontented teachers.
I told you that I once was a part of a class group on Facebook, but I had to delete myself a day after graduation when boys started to send cat emojis and messages of bullying.
Our conversation suddenly went to a serious, straight tone.
"People bullied you?" you said.
I put my head down and mumbled a weak reply. I don't know why I told you. I never wanted to tell anybody. I didn't want anybody to know that I was bullied in fear I'd become a victim again.
"Give me their names, I'm gonna' go bash them, nobody deserves to be bullied' you replied.
I put my head back up in confidence and smiled. This was week two in our friendship and you were already standing up for me. You were already making me wish that I met you earlier in my life, back in a time where I really needed you.
During one study line, you were sitting by yourself on a picnic table. You had papers neatly placed on the table, I could tell from a far that you were doing the set homework questions about our poetry unit. I walked up to you and I sat down on the opposite side and we immediately starting talking.
I sat on the opposite side of the table and you offered me some of your lunch.
It was sushi, the colour of white and green. I tried sushi before, two years ago when I was in Thailand and I loved it, so I reached into the plastic container and picked up the last piece.
I put it in my mouth and you watched my expression.
I'm sorry, but as soon as I could taste it; I wanted to throw up. I'm sorry that I made it so obvious as I screwed up my face and immediately reached for my drink bottle filling my mouth with the taste of water instead of the taste of something I didn't like.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I said worriedly as soon as I got rid of what was in my mouth.
I was worried you wouldn't like me anymore. I was worried that I somehow disgusted you.
"It's OK, it's OK" you kept repeating.
but I kept echoing that I was sorry.
You weren't mad at me, you didn't tell me that there was something wrong with be because I didn't like what you liked, you didn't pack up and leave in disgust to never speak to me again.
You just told me it was OK and we laughed it off.
As Friends.
You talk, and you talk, and you talk non-stop, and I love it. You are constantly saying "I've been talking too much, you talk now" but, I don't want to talk. I want to listen to you some more: about your high school production that was equipped with fat suits and wardrobe malfunctions making mine look even better, of your drama class you love so much. I want to listen to you talk about Shakespeare, about the poetry we are walking on, and about your hometown, about your view on the weather around us, about friends who climb trees in their jeans, about you moving the furniture around in your lounge room, and about your family. I want to listen to you talk endlessly about anything that is in your mind all day long.
I want to listen because your voice brings comfort to my lonely soul. It's nice to know that somebody wants to sit next to me and talk endlessly about everything on their mind. Last year, I spent so long craving somebody to sit next to me, I silently cried when people walked straight past me and didn't acknowledge me. They didn't know I was dying inside but all I needed was them to sit next to me to make me feel less alone. Last year, I felt a strong sense of isolation. I felt like I did not belong anywhere. I couldn't find my place With you I don't feel lonely. I feel a sense of belonging, and I feel like I have finally found my place.
I have accomplished my goal of making new friends and I feel so overjoyed.
I have mentally came a long way since last year and I am so proud of myself for that.
AND
I can't wait too see our friendship blossom. Get ready because together we are going to become the next greatest pair of friends in history.
I told you that I once was a part of a class group on Facebook, but I had to delete myself a day after graduation when boys started to send cat emojis and messages of bullying.
Our conversation suddenly went to a serious, straight tone.
"People bullied you?" you said.
I put my head down and mumbled a weak reply. I don't know why I told you. I never wanted to tell anybody. I didn't want anybody to know that I was bullied in fear I'd become a victim again.
"Give me their names, I'm gonna' go bash them, nobody deserves to be bullied' you replied.
I put my head back up in confidence and smiled. This was week two in our friendship and you were already standing up for me. You were already making me wish that I met you earlier in my life, back in a time where I really needed you.
During one study line, you were sitting by yourself on a picnic table. You had papers neatly placed on the table, I could tell from a far that you were doing the set homework questions about our poetry unit. I walked up to you and I sat down on the opposite side and we immediately starting talking.
I sat on the opposite side of the table and you offered me some of your lunch.
It was sushi, the colour of white and green. I tried sushi before, two years ago when I was in Thailand and I loved it, so I reached into the plastic container and picked up the last piece.
I put it in my mouth and you watched my expression.
I'm sorry, but as soon as I could taste it; I wanted to throw up. I'm sorry that I made it so obvious as I screwed up my face and immediately reached for my drink bottle filling my mouth with the taste of water instead of the taste of something I didn't like.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I said worriedly as soon as I got rid of what was in my mouth.
I was worried you wouldn't like me anymore. I was worried that I somehow disgusted you.
"It's OK, it's OK" you kept repeating.
but I kept echoing that I was sorry.
You weren't mad at me, you didn't tell me that there was something wrong with be because I didn't like what you liked, you didn't pack up and leave in disgust to never speak to me again.
You just told me it was OK and we laughed it off.
As Friends.
You talk, and you talk, and you talk non-stop, and I love it. You are constantly saying "I've been talking too much, you talk now" but, I don't want to talk. I want to listen to you some more: about your high school production that was equipped with fat suits and wardrobe malfunctions making mine look even better, of your drama class you love so much. I want to listen to you talk about Shakespeare, about the poetry we are walking on, and about your hometown, about your view on the weather around us, about friends who climb trees in their jeans, about you moving the furniture around in your lounge room, and about your family. I want to listen to you talk endlessly about anything that is in your mind all day long.
I want to listen because your voice brings comfort to my lonely soul. It's nice to know that somebody wants to sit next to me and talk endlessly about everything on their mind. Last year, I spent so long craving somebody to sit next to me, I silently cried when people walked straight past me and didn't acknowledge me. They didn't know I was dying inside but all I needed was them to sit next to me to make me feel less alone. Last year, I felt a strong sense of isolation. I felt like I did not belong anywhere. I couldn't find my place With you I don't feel lonely. I feel a sense of belonging, and I feel like I have finally found my place.
I have accomplished my goal of making new friends and I feel so overjoyed.
I have mentally came a long way since last year and I am so proud of myself for that.
AND
I can't wait too see our friendship blossom. Get ready because together we are going to become the next greatest pair of friends in history.
Thankyou.
Just to clarify: I don't like the Hobbit .
-from Me.
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
I've been putting of publishing this post for a while, because.. it's weird.. it's just really weird.
but I believe we need to Carpe Diem, we need to seize the day. We need to let people know how we feel because we only have one chance and I'm not going to continue my year until you know how much you mean to me.
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
I've been putting of publishing this post for a while, because.. it's weird.. it's just really weird.
but I believe we need to Carpe Diem, we need to seize the day. We need to let people know how we feel because we only have one chance and I'm not going to continue my year until you know how much you mean to me.
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